Four Of The Punniest Virtual Colonoscopy Puns You will discover
I received the best personal gift ever this week and could say I ordered it for myself. It was my first colonoscopy, the disruptive, yet critical study of the large intestine or colon. The results were negative. No cancer, no polyps. Clean as a, er . . . whistle. Sorry, it's hard to write with that. As you can imagine, I've only talked about this topic with a few contacts.
Now that contend is over, however, I feel a sense obligation to talk about it. I imagine it's the same type of obligation Katie Couric felt when she lost her husband to colon cancer years back. Couric wanted to do help educate folks by having her next colonoscopy done on live television.
The least I will do is post a blog about my experience.
Communicating about my colon is not exactly easy, but dying of colon cancer is much more difficult. The colon and rectal area is a difficult topic of conversation even under the circumstances. The large intestine is the darkest organ in it doesn't receive the copious amounts of attention we give other body parts such as cardiovascular or stomach.
We worry on which our hair seems like and whether we circles under our eyes. We're wary of the extra flesh at our waistlines, if not concerned enough to find a solution. Few of us think about the colon, however, if your kid talk about understand it. But, if you really want to manage yourself, keep associated with the darkest wood.
colonography
Colon cancer usually develops from polyps, so the goal is to discover and deal the particular polyps earlier than later. Over 90% of people who get colon cancer are over around 50. Many have neglected themselves by developing a sedentary lifestyle or bad eating inclinations.
In general, cancer occurs when healthy cells become altered, but that's not what causes most people to finally speak about their colon. In fact, many we have colon cancer consistently before they even know it. Eventually, changes in bowel habits, bloody stool, persistent cramping, gas or abdominal pain sends them any doctor, who normally has to bite his tongue, knowing that colon cancer quite preventable with early detection.
"How do experience? A little dehydrated?" Nurse Angie of the Rochester Medical Clinic was getting me situated for the quiz. The clinic has seven doctors who see ten to fifteen patients a day.
"How could I be dehydrated?" I teased. "You forced me drink 64 ounces of Gatorade." The Gatorade was together with 238 grams of Miralax powder. Allow me to go on record as saying there's nothing "lax" about Miralax. It was a little Fleet Phospho-soda, however, that really cleared the pipes. Today is to create the colon clear completely clear of solid waste material, so the doc can everybody knows a good look.
"How much would you weigh, Michael?"
"I weighed 163 before yesterday, but I've been through a lot in will establish 24 hours."
The day before the exam I was allowed to eat breakfast, but that's all. I had nothing to eat or drink, but water and some chicken broth for 25 hours or so before the examination. I never got hungry thanks to the distracting effects on the laxative.
Nurse Betsy seemed very pleased which i was getting a colonoscopy only days before my 50th birthday. "You're right on schedule!" she beamed. Whatever makes her happy.
Dr. Dennis A Dahlstedt's business card shows that he's an M.D. of Gastroenterology, but can also be a stand-up comedian. I met him about 30 seconds before we became, er . . really. intimately acquainted. Sorry, this is hard to debate.
Have you seen the funny prostate exam in Fletch where Chevy Chase interrupts himself to sing, Moon River, when the doctor slips him a digit? Well, Medical professional. D. is apparently fond of the Damon Wayans/(Dr.) Lou Rawls TV skit because Dr. D. actually sang, You'll Never Find (Another Love Like Mine), while i was going as little as. I swear to you, it's the you would like I heard before I was put to sleep.
So, while individuals have trouble refering to the colon, a number of people enjoy singing about this.
The anesthesiologist put me out having a terrific drug called "Propofol." I was unconscious very quickly and recovered faster than I do from Dramamine, so later, I applied for a six pack of Propofol to try.
I caught a glimpse of the colonoscope, a lariat made from black plastic that looks a little like PVC lines. The tube is about as thick being an index finger, if you'll pardon the assessment. The hose was approximately four feet long.
Talk about an all-in-one tool! The Swiss Army knife has nothing for that colonoscope. The business end of the tube is a camera. A dial at the opposite end makes the camera move. The tool has the ability to irrigate the intestinal. It has a forceps, if you can believe it, with a snare or "noose" to clip and collect polyps. The colonoscope also boasts a light to illuminate what might be the darkest human body part.
I'm told the colonoscope is sterilized for about an hour or after every need.
After the procedure, Dr. Dahlstedt arrived in see me globe recovery area. He was quite content with my test results and my compliance as a calm. "Great prep job!" he exhorted. "Like Artesian well water inside!"
Struggling with the analogy, I asked Dr. Dahlstedt what he thinks of colonic cleanses and etc. "Ridiculous!" he said. "Totally 'out of place'! You don't hear about squirrels in the woods giving themselves enemas, do you have?"
He had an exceptional point, but Much faster . never heard from a squirrel paying $1,000 to have someone shove a camera up his booty. That's not exactly natural, either.
"One more question, Doctor, what's singular most important best thing I'm able to do to care for my colon?"
"Eat vegetables," he was quoted saying. "See you in about ten years."
In ten years, researchers may perfect the new "virtual (non-invasive) colonoscopy," do not postpone your assessment. If you're over 50, schedule your exam right away. Share this article with someone over 50. I know it's hard, but talk of it.
Socrates said that the unexamined life isn't worth living. Well, a colonoscopy is examination that helps ensure a person goes on living.
I'm going out tonight to enjoy. Gonna have a cocktail. And vegetables. What about a mojito.
Now that contend is over, however, I feel a sense obligation to talk about it. I imagine it's the same type of obligation Katie Couric felt when she lost her husband to colon cancer years back. Couric wanted to do help educate folks by having her next colonoscopy done on live television.
The least I will do is post a blog about my experience.
Communicating about my colon is not exactly easy, but dying of colon cancer is much more difficult. The colon and rectal area is a difficult topic of conversation even under the circumstances. The large intestine is the darkest organ in it doesn't receive the copious amounts of attention we give other body parts such as cardiovascular or stomach.
We worry on which our hair seems like and whether we circles under our eyes. We're wary of the extra flesh at our waistlines, if not concerned enough to find a solution. Few of us think about the colon, however, if your kid talk about understand it. But, if you really want to manage yourself, keep associated with the darkest wood.
colonography
Colon cancer usually develops from polyps, so the goal is to discover and deal the particular polyps earlier than later. Over 90% of people who get colon cancer are over around 50. Many have neglected themselves by developing a sedentary lifestyle or bad eating inclinations.
In general, cancer occurs when healthy cells become altered, but that's not what causes most people to finally speak about their colon. In fact, many we have colon cancer consistently before they even know it. Eventually, changes in bowel habits, bloody stool, persistent cramping, gas or abdominal pain sends them any doctor, who normally has to bite his tongue, knowing that colon cancer quite preventable with early detection.
"How do experience? A little dehydrated?" Nurse Angie of the Rochester Medical Clinic was getting me situated for the quiz. The clinic has seven doctors who see ten to fifteen patients a day.
"How could I be dehydrated?" I teased. "You forced me drink 64 ounces of Gatorade." The Gatorade was together with 238 grams of Miralax powder. Allow me to go on record as saying there's nothing "lax" about Miralax. It was a little Fleet Phospho-soda, however, that really cleared the pipes. Today is to create the colon clear completely clear of solid waste material, so the doc can everybody knows a good look.
"How much would you weigh, Michael?"
"I weighed 163 before yesterday, but I've been through a lot in will establish 24 hours."
The day before the exam I was allowed to eat breakfast, but that's all. I had nothing to eat or drink, but water and some chicken broth for 25 hours or so before the examination. I never got hungry thanks to the distracting effects on the laxative.
Nurse Betsy seemed very pleased which i was getting a colonoscopy only days before my 50th birthday. "You're right on schedule!" she beamed. Whatever makes her happy.
Dr. Dennis A Dahlstedt's business card shows that he's an M.D. of Gastroenterology, but can also be a stand-up comedian. I met him about 30 seconds before we became, er . . really. intimately acquainted. Sorry, this is hard to debate.
Have you seen the funny prostate exam in Fletch where Chevy Chase interrupts himself to sing, Moon River, when the doctor slips him a digit? Well, Medical professional. D. is apparently fond of the Damon Wayans/(Dr.) Lou Rawls TV skit because Dr. D. actually sang, You'll Never Find (Another Love Like Mine), while i was going as little as. I swear to you, it's the you would like I heard before I was put to sleep.
So, while individuals have trouble refering to the colon, a number of people enjoy singing about this.
The anesthesiologist put me out having a terrific drug called "Propofol." I was unconscious very quickly and recovered faster than I do from Dramamine, so later, I applied for a six pack of Propofol to try.
I caught a glimpse of the colonoscope, a lariat made from black plastic that looks a little like PVC lines. The tube is about as thick being an index finger, if you'll pardon the assessment. The hose was approximately four feet long.
Talk about an all-in-one tool! The Swiss Army knife has nothing for that colonoscope. The business end of the tube is a camera. A dial at the opposite end makes the camera move. The tool has the ability to irrigate the intestinal. It has a forceps, if you can believe it, with a snare or "noose" to clip and collect polyps. The colonoscope also boasts a light to illuminate what might be the darkest human body part.
I'm told the colonoscope is sterilized for about an hour or after every need.
After the procedure, Dr. Dahlstedt arrived in see me globe recovery area. He was quite content with my test results and my compliance as a calm. "Great prep job!" he exhorted. "Like Artesian well water inside!"
Struggling with the analogy, I asked Dr. Dahlstedt what he thinks of colonic cleanses and etc. "Ridiculous!" he said. "Totally 'out of place'! You don't hear about squirrels in the woods giving themselves enemas, do you have?"
He had an exceptional point, but Much faster . never heard from a squirrel paying $1,000 to have someone shove a camera up his booty. That's not exactly natural, either.
"One more question, Doctor, what's singular most important best thing I'm able to do to care for my colon?"
"Eat vegetables," he was quoted saying. "See you in about ten years."
In ten years, researchers may perfect the new "virtual (non-invasive) colonoscopy," do not postpone your assessment. If you're over 50, schedule your exam right away. Share this article with someone over 50. I know it's hard, but talk of it.
Socrates said that the unexamined life isn't worth living. Well, a colonoscopy is examination that helps ensure a person goes on living.
I'm going out tonight to enjoy. Gonna have a cocktail. And vegetables. What about a mojito.
